“Feeling Sequimish”
Mark Couhig
Contact Mark at mcouhig@sequimgazette.com
Mark Couhig has been a writer for more than 50 years.  
His first experience with the written word arrived at a very early age when he was required to painstakingly hand-trace dotted lines in a notebook, a process that led first to a mastery of the straight, purely angular letters of the English alphabet. He soon turned his attention to the curved letters, exhibiting a full proficiency in that skill by the end of his seventh year.
Before another year had passed, Couhig had begun to cluster letters into meaningful compositions, an accomplishment for which he was awarded a coveted gold star, the first-ever public acknowledgement of his extraordinary aptitude with words.
In time he would take these words and strategically create further clusters, which he called “sentences.”
Paragraphs soon followed.
In the third grade Couhig learned the skill of cursive writing, allowing him to greatly expand and accelerate his output.
Over the ensuing months and years Couhig’s now-renown facility for dramatic narrative developed. He was able to work the delicate filigree of fiction — dramatic, purposeful action that engages the reader — to a degree that astonished Ms. Sweeney, his teacher and mentor. Of one of Couhig’s early works, “Run, Tom, Run,” she wrote, “I’m so proud of you.”  
As his facility with words grew, so too did his worldview, aided in part by his assiduous readings of “The Weekly Reader,” which he continues to regard as a formative influence in his later, more mature works.
In the fifth grade, Couhig’s repertoire and love of the written word translated to a sterling turn on the stage as Shepherd No. 3 in a new and dynamic dramatic reading of the Gospel According to Luke, a popular work of the time.
Approximately 50 years later Couhig moved to Sequim where he writes a blog.  

Puh — leeez, Louise!
A new advice column for the forlorn, lovelorn and loveless. Presented with no endorsement, and for that matter, no knowledge of your friendly neighborhood Sequim Gazette.

Puh — leeez, Louise!
My husband and I have been married for five years. My mother-in-law, who lives just two blocks away, continues to make snide remarks about the way I dress and act. She clearly thinks I’m a very “loose” woman with low morals. Last week at a picnic I wore shorts (it was hot that day, Louise!) and she announced in front of everyone, “I guess Linda thinks everyone is interested in looking at her legs.” I was so embarrassed. What should I do?!
Linda in Port Angeles

Dear Linda,
This sounds like a generational issue. Your mother-in-law was probably born and raised at a time when women were taught self-respect and were further told not to parade around with everything hanging out like some kind of floozy. I would encourage you to set aside a time when the two of you can talk privately so you can explain to her that it is your perfect right to flaunt your stuff and to shake your booty. Just because you’re hopelessly promiscuous doesn’t give her the right to criticize. I suggest you put on your push-up bra and pull on your big-girl killer heels and explain to her the facts of life. I know she’ll appreciate it, and so will your husband.

Puh — leeez, Louise!
The other day while riding on the bus I heard a portion of a story told by a man sitting next to me. Apparently a friend of his was recently sitting in the Kick-em-up Tavern when a horse walked in and ordered a scotch and water. The bartender asked the horse a question, but I couldn’t hear what it was over the noise of the bus. Do you know what the question was?
Curious in Chimacum

Dear Curious,
Apparently the horse, whose name is Ed, was having a bad day. The bartender asked him, “Say, pal, why the long face?”
I haven’t been able to determine Ed’s response, but my sources say he soon felt better.

Puh — leez, Louise!
Six years ago my brother, Ken, had a kidney disorder. Before they both shut down, he asked me and I donated a kidney to help him survive. He seems to have recovered very well. Within a year — even without a job — he had purchased a new pool for his backyard. I was happy for him.
But now I have a problem. He has recently been told by his doctor that he needs a liver transplant. He has asked me for one of mine. When I hesitated, he even offered to pay for it following the surgery. Louise, I love my brother, but I’m not sure what my responsibilities are. First one of my kidneys, now one of my livers. Should I do it?
Missing parts in Diamond Point

Dear Missing:
I’ll double whatever he offered for one of your livers. Same terms. Give me a call.

Personal Note to Gathering Dust in Gardiner: Thank you for writing. I understand why you’re so distraught and I will keep you in my prayers. The answer is yes, the volume of the submerged object is the same as the volume of fluid displaced. The weight of this displaced fluid is the buoyant force.
Yours,
Louise