When your child is very young, he probably won’t play with another child. At the same time, he may enjoy just being close to another child. Two young children may play side by side but somewhat ignore each other. So when a child is old enough to play with another child it is an exciting time. That doesn’t mean playing together problems are over or that they will play well together.

Watch how other toddlers play together. There probably is a fair amount of grabbing, hitting or throwing things. Even at best they probably ignore their playmates. This is normal. This is the way play works for toddlers until about 2 or 3 years of age. To truly play together means sharing. An unwillingness to share is normal for a 2-year-old, but you still can start to introduce the concept to him because playing together and sharing take practice. You can help prepare your child for sharing in several ways.

• Be a good role model. When you play with your child, ask her if you can play with a toy she has been using. Let her know you appreciate her giving you a turn and that you appreciate her willingness to share.

• Bring out cooperative games. If you have even just one other toddler over, figure out a game such as rolling a ball to one another to begin the play. A ball teaches each child to share. Activities like crafts or other teamwork things encourage sharing. Play “My Turn, Your Turn” games to get everyone into the right frame of mind.

• Be close by. You need to be around during these playtimes so you can step in when things get into trouble. Try to be calm no matter whether your child is the problem or the victim. If you need to, separate the children and redirect them to a new activity or a new toy. If one toy is what they each want, it may be time to remove that toy.

• Practice playing together … a lot. Just because one episode, or even multiple episodes, ends in tears and tantrums, don’t give up. Sharing takes time to learn. Learning social skills takes time. Praise your child when he has done a good job but always remember to be patient with him when he hasn’t done so well.

Sharing is a skill we all need. We need it to get along with others, to get through school, to be successful in our work, to make our marriage successful and to be ready before kindergarten. It is well worth working on at this time and for all the years to come.

 Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and now director of Parenting Matters Foundation. The foundation publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.