My baby continues to amaze my wife and me daily as he discovers new things, i.e. venturing under the couch and getting stuck.
Shifting his newborn and 0-3 and 3-6 and various growing sized clothes into storage bins has become increasingly difficult seeing our little man grow. But thankfully, his love for my car keys (to chomp) doesn’t translate into a love to drive yet or broken teeth for obvious reasons.
He’ll be a teenager before I know it, but every step along the way, or waddle or crab walk has been quite a ride so far. I reflected 10 months in on being a dad, but I’ve added to my list of absurdities and silly stories one year in. So, I hope you enjoy my jokes, hardships and revelations.
• In one year, I've had a few colds. Typically, my quota is one or two but with a baby in the house it's easy to see the spread of germs despite my best efforts with vitamins, baths and sanitization. Yet, when playing he likes to stick his hands in my mouth, nose, eyes and ears. Albert Camus truly didn't know what the plague was, but I do. Babies are the true plague. But so cute.
• As he’s grown, so has his hair. But it’s grown in the back and not on the top a la his father’s high hairline, giving him more of a baby mullet. I branded it the Baby Frasier Crane.
• I’ve seen my eye doctor a few times since he was born not for checkups or problems but because baby likes to pull them off my face. The doctor has helped me readjust the glasses from perpendicular back to parallel.
• Here are the first of two stories about the extent of my exhaustion as a new parent:
• Story two: About a month ago, we all had been sick with colds and the baby made a loud noise in the middle of the night. Both asleep, my wife awoke asking me what the noise was and if the baby was OK. Sitting up Dracula-style, I had my hands folded in prayer and I said, “Meat.”
• We enjoy singing a few tunes together and they’ve become a part of our daily routine. To encourage baby to sing, too, my wife and I both sing one note in dorky voices hoping he joins in. Sometimes it takes him awhile to participate but he may just be messing with us. Or he wants us to stop hurting his ears.
• One day, we placed baby on the ground and asked him to crawl toward us. With a big grin he crawled feverishly to us, put one hand on each of our legs as if reminding us he loves us both equally.
• We’ve progressively put eating at his discretion on his plate. But after every meal, there’s half a meal either on him or under him. This baby likes to make his own meat, banana, blueberry pancakes under his high chair.
• Did you know socks translated to babies is a verb meaning “to put in mouth” or “lose promptly?” Honestly, where the heck does that one baby sock always ago?
So as we embark on another year toward the totally tubular twos — my optimistic play on the “terrible twos” — I wish you continued success living among babies in this world. — Matt Nash