Childhood ends with sex abuse
Published on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 by Richard SpinksRead More Spinks
As a law enforcement officer for 30 years, you come across the bloody, the unusual, the horrific and the shattered.
Here's a story about shattered dreams.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, child sexual abuse is reported almost 80,000 times a year.
In Sequim last year, we investigated rapes, child neglect, child sexual assaults and abuse. More than a dozen more kids ran away from home for a host of reasons - but they ran from something or someone.
Is the sky falling? No, but there are more than enough sad stories in our city, our county, our state to be told.
A sad story
Here's a story about a young girl who grew up in a home where domestic violence was tolerated and not reported. She was sexually assaulted by her biological father before divorce finally came into play after years of abuse. The police never were called.
The mother remarried and thought she had a better life in store for her now teenage daughters. Over the ensuing years, both teenagers routinely were sexually assaulted by their stepfather. Again, the police never were called.
As adult women, both sisters have been the victims of domestic violence; one sister is on her fourth marriage with multiple affairs throughout, while the other sister has drifted from "relationship" to relationship, week-to-week or month-to-month.
At one point the domestic violence was reported while the other sister came to the attention of law enforcement because of her own abuse of drugs.
Not surprising.
No happy ending.
Victims of childhood sexual abuse are many times just too young to cry out for help. Other times they have been groomed for years to be sex victims by their attackers.
Having a healthy network of family, friends and community ties is critical. One thing that sexual abuse victims seem to share is an environment that is walled off from the outside world, usually by an attacker who wants to keep the victim isolated, controlled and trained to believe that the sexual abuse is somehow normal.
According to one study, most children are abused by someone they know and trust, although boys are more likely than girls to be abused outside of the family.
A study in three states found 86 percent of reported rape survivors under age 12 knew the attacker. Four percent of the offenders were strangers, 20 percent were fathers, 16 percent were relatives and 50 percent were acquaintances or friends.
Could it happen here?
It already does. Sixty-seven percent of all victims of reported sexual assault are under the age of 18 according to a Bureau of Justice Statistics report. Thirty-four percent of all victims were under age 12. One of every seven victims of sexual assault was under 6.
On the flip side of the coin, the abusers range from stereotypical male father, stepfather, boyfriend, uncle and grandfather, but 40 percent of the offenders who victimized children under age 6 were younger than 18 themselves. Even more common was that the abusers tended to have been victims of sexual or physical assault themselves.
It is estimated that one in four girls and one in six boys will have experienced an episode of sexual abuse before they turn 18.
Shattered dreams
Yet in all cases, these victims share the common result of having shattered childhood dreams. At a time when support and nurturing is critical to the development of a child's future adult framework, these instances of rape and abuse leave damage that will follow them for decades regardless of how much make-up or cover-up is attempted.
So should we lock the kids up to protect them? Quite the opposite, you want children involved in well-supervised activities, out in the light of day and engaged with other kids as well as adults.
Organizations like the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Olympic Peninsula have demonstrated their value time and time again by providing safe places to play, study and learn as well as providing staff who can engage children and whom children come to trust and can report the unthinkable.
Just as important as a nurturing experience at the Boys & Girls Club is making time for the critical one-on-one time with your children. While the hustle and bustle of life sometimes can be draining and challenging, making investments of time, love and fun with your children are the best crime-prevention program you ever could invest in.
Robert L. Spinks is chief of the Sequim Police Department. Send comments to columns@sequimgazette.com.
Related story: Trust betrayed, a mind shattered
Here's a story about shattered dreams.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, child sexual abuse is reported almost 80,000 times a year.
In Sequim last year, we investigated rapes, child neglect, child sexual assaults and abuse. More than a dozen more kids ran away from home for a host of reasons - but they ran from something or someone.
Is the sky falling? No, but there are more than enough sad stories in our city, our county, our state to be told.
A sad story
Here's a story about a young girl who grew up in a home where domestic violence was tolerated and not reported. She was sexually assaulted by her biological father before divorce finally came into play after years of abuse. The police never were called.
The mother remarried and thought she had a better life in store for her now teenage daughters. Over the ensuing years, both teenagers routinely were sexually assaulted by their stepfather. Again, the police never were called.
As adult women, both sisters have been the victims of domestic violence; one sister is on her fourth marriage with multiple affairs throughout, while the other sister has drifted from "relationship" to relationship, week-to-week or month-to-month.
At one point the domestic violence was reported while the other sister came to the attention of law enforcement because of her own abuse of drugs.
Not surprising.
No happy ending.
Victims of childhood sexual abuse are many times just too young to cry out for help. Other times they have been groomed for years to be sex victims by their attackers.
Having a healthy network of family, friends and community ties is critical. One thing that sexual abuse victims seem to share is an environment that is walled off from the outside world, usually by an attacker who wants to keep the victim isolated, controlled and trained to believe that the sexual abuse is somehow normal.
According to one study, most children are abused by someone they know and trust, although boys are more likely than girls to be abused outside of the family.
A study in three states found 86 percent of reported rape survivors under age 12 knew the attacker. Four percent of the offenders were strangers, 20 percent were fathers, 16 percent were relatives and 50 percent were acquaintances or friends.
Could it happen here?
It already does. Sixty-seven percent of all victims of reported sexual assault are under the age of 18 according to a Bureau of Justice Statistics report. Thirty-four percent of all victims were under age 12. One of every seven victims of sexual assault was under 6.
On the flip side of the coin, the abusers range from stereotypical male father, stepfather, boyfriend, uncle and grandfather, but 40 percent of the offenders who victimized children under age 6 were younger than 18 themselves. Even more common was that the abusers tended to have been victims of sexual or physical assault themselves.
It is estimated that one in four girls and one in six boys will have experienced an episode of sexual abuse before they turn 18.
Shattered dreams
Yet in all cases, these victims share the common result of having shattered childhood dreams. At a time when support and nurturing is critical to the development of a child's future adult framework, these instances of rape and abuse leave damage that will follow them for decades regardless of how much make-up or cover-up is attempted.
So should we lock the kids up to protect them? Quite the opposite, you want children involved in well-supervised activities, out in the light of day and engaged with other kids as well as adults.
Organizations like the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Olympic Peninsula have demonstrated their value time and time again by providing safe places to play, study and learn as well as providing staff who can engage children and whom children come to trust and can report the unthinkable.
Just as important as a nurturing experience at the Boys & Girls Club is making time for the critical one-on-one time with your children. While the hustle and bustle of life sometimes can be draining and challenging, making investments of time, love and fun with your children are the best crime-prevention program you ever could invest in.
Robert L. Spinks is chief of the Sequim Police Department. Send comments to columns@sequimgazette.com.
Related story: Trust betrayed, a mind shattered
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