One of the many jobs for parents is to talk about difficult subjects with their child. It begins early and may last a lifetime.

It begins with helping them learn to say “Please” and “Thank you.” This is one of the easiest talks. The tough part is that you need to teach this every day.

It is in the early years that the lesson about sharing begins. Again, this one is not difficult for most parents to discuss with their child but not all do. Certainly this subject comes up by necessity in homes with more than one child. It also comes up when your child is old enough to have friends come over.

One of the best ways to handle this is before it happens. Talk with your child about your expectation that when Johnny comes today, he will want to play with your toys. Let him put away ones he is not willing to share but all others need to be shared. If you find they are not sharing, take toys away.

Another more complex lesson to discuss is about kindness and thoughtfulness. Usually one of the ways this subject first comes up is when you take him to Grandma’s house or actually anyone else’s house. Talk with him about his behavior when he isn’t at home. He needs to be thoughtful, helpful and polite with people.

Talk with him before you go shopping. He needs to be kind to people who need help and thoughtful of those who help him in any way. He should acknowledge people who help him and help those he can help.

A slightly more complex talk you will need to have with your child is about accepting others. Certainly prejudice is all around us. That makes it all the more important to talk with your child about it. Talk with him about the person in his class that most of the kids don’t like. He will know one or more.

Ask him about how he is with this person. Talk about why the others don’t like this one child. Ask him how he would feel if he were this person. Be sure to spend time listening.

Part of this discussion needs to include the issue of gang violence. There are some people you do not want your child to accept. He needs to learn to associate with the people whose values he shares. Accepting others doesn’t mean you accept people who force you to do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Many parents never talk about the subject of honesty. We know that this is a problem when we hear about it on the news, from neighbors and anywhere else. Hearing that packages are taken off people’s porches by thieves, cars and houses being broken into and young people being arrested underscores the problem this is today. The first place that dishonesty comes up for many people is at school. Cheating needs to be a part of the discussion. Cheating is being dishonest. Your child needs to hear you connect these subjects.

Be involved, prepared

As a parent, you need to be prepared to talk with your child about drugs. In many ways this is a more complex issue today as marijuana has become legal. Remember, it is not legal for anyone under 21 to buy or use marijuana. Even with that law, one in five students in the 10th grade use it and one in four in the 12th grade.

We know that the brain develops until around the age of 25. Using marijuana causes difficulty learning and causes memory problems, hallucinations, anxiety and depression. If a child begins marijuana before the age of 14, he is more likely to become addicted as an adult.

Your child listens to you. You need to talk about this before it is an issue. You need to talk about it even if you were someone who used marijuana as a child. If you don’t know the answers to his questions, find them.

Spend time with him on the Internet and get the answers to your questions. Try going to the Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board or some other reliable source. Just because you don’t have the answers doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss this.

One more subject you should not avoid discussing is sex. As with drugs, you don’t need to know all the answers; you just need to help him find the answers he needs. Many parents avoid talking about sex because they want to maintain their privacy. But you can maintain it and still talk about sex. Sexually transmitted diseases make this an important topic to talk about. Read something together and then talk about it.

If you absolutely can not discuss this, it is your job to find someone else who can talk with him about it. Certainly talk with your partner about this. Even an older sibling can help. You can ask your physician to discuss sex with your child. Just do not ignore this important topic.

Talking with your child is an important part of being a parent. Don’t skip the tough issues; don’t skip any topic that comes up. You also can learn as you teach and as you listen.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com.