I know it is difficult when your grandchildren are not living down the street so you can visit them regularly, and that you have some suggestions you would like to send to your own children about important things they should be doing with your grandchildren. But I also want you to know that you can do a number of things about this issue.
The first thing to remember is the telephone. Call you children and even your grandchildren regularly. This is one old fashioned way to keep in touch.
A second and more common today way to keep in touch is via the computer. Send regular messages to your grandchildren to let them know you are thinking of them. Remind them of good television shows they could watch and tell them why. Check out the games on the computer and then tell them about ones you have found that you thought they might like.
Even just send them your good wishes for a great day with just a little note to remind them you are thinking of them.
It is also great to send them pictures of places you go and things you do.
Ask each grandchild to send you things they make. A picture is easy to put in an envelope and mail, and they are great to receive. You can also send a picture you make to your grandchild.
Ask your children to tell you things that are important to your grandchild. If you know she is taking dance lessons or he is learning to play the piano, you then can ask about it. You can even have them record one of his lessons or have someone take pictures of her lesson. You can also send your children articles you found helpful about raising children. An article is less intrusive than a lot of parenting advice that you were not asked to send.
If you are doing something you really enjoy, tell your grandchildren about it. Maybe you are volunteering to help needy children or taking people for doctor’s visits. While you do not need to say much about these things, at least tell them a little. The relationship goes two ways.
Be sure to tell them about a movie you saw on Netflix if they have that at their house too. The animal shows are great, and the American Experience shows are some of the best ways to learn about history. These are great for your grandchildren who are a bit older and no longer into Disney shows.
You certainly want to remember holidays with your grandchildren. One good thing to send them can be decorations for the coming holiday. Something for the Fourth of July is worth sending. It is easy to find things for each holiday and they love getting gifts from you. A gift that comes when there isn’t a holiday is also special.
Basically, you are trying to stay involved in important ways to what they are doing. This is even true if they just live nearby in Seattle. If you do not work to make the relationship come alive, you will have passed up a great opportunity to keep it going.
Instead of being upset that you can’t see your grandchildren regularly, spend time making sure that you keep the communication open between you. You will not regret it.
Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. For more information, email to info@firstteacher.org or call 360-681-2250.
