Barbara Solomon, MA, LMFT

Psychotherapy, life coaching

Phone: 681-4456

Email: coachedbyanangel@earthlink.net

Hours: 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday

“I’m not a ‘Uh hum, how do you feel?’ person,” said psychotherapist and life coach Barbara Solomon from her cozy office near Sequim. “I’m very results oriented and directive, just as much coach as therapist. It’s a very dynamic practice, it’s a partnership and I do challenge those stories that bring us down because we do have that psychological ability to transform our lives.”

Solomon spent two decades growing her practice in southern California before coming to Sequim six years ago when she realized with Skype capabilities and counseling by telephone, she could live anywhere — especially close to nature. Solomon counsels both local and long distance clients, adult individuals and couples. She is a licensed psychotherapist in both California and Washington.

“Therapy looks back at patterns that are not working but life coaching takes the client into the future — ‘How will I do things differently?’ — I think they work really well together,” Solomon said.

Among the skills she teaches clients are recognizing old patterns, comforting, coping and communication skills, how to manifest a new reality out of their thoughts and/or reactions and how to be intimate without getting themselves lost in other people.

“Couples therapy is my favorite because it’s very dynamic. The first thing to create is accountability — I don’t believe relationships are 50/50 but 100/100,” Solomon said. “We work from that place so there are no victims and no villains. I teach them powerful communication tools so there’s no judgment, no criticism, no attacking. I give them not ‘homework’ but ‘own work’ to experience themselves at home in different ways.”

With couples, whether they’re straight, gay or lesbian, married or not, Solomon meets the first time with them together, followed by a separate session with each.

“I believe in giving each a lot of tools and starting from a place I call the ‘compassionate eye’” which means, Solomon explained, each person accepting his or her own choices made and not assigning a negative emotion to them — a “they are what they are and they’re in the past” attitude.

“It’s about learning from the wisdom of our mistakes,” Solomon said. “Everything we do that didn’t work ends up being a survival strategy that boomerangs even if it’s not working anymore. I try to help individuals be aware of their patterns, interrupt them and transcend them. This is pretty deep work that I do. We repeat our history or we heal from it.”

Solomon said everyone is shaped by their experiences from a very young age, “so lots of things get smuggled in our psyches but the really good news is we have the power to heal from those messages that gave us less than, not worthy feelings. We can heal ourselves and we can evolve in our own lifetime.”

She said her ultimate goal is to “graduate” each client into a life brimming with self-understanding and self-acceptance, confident in his or her own innate worth — a bigger life.

But before reaching that place, get ready for a reality ride.

“I’ve been called a Ninja therapist,” Solomon grinned. “In our journey together, the client has the gas and brakes and I have the steering wheel. And since I absolutely know that our thoughts create our reality, I do challenge every self-limiting, outdated belief that comes up.

“Typically, in my practice, I see many individuals longing to awaken to their full potential. Most people I work with are not sick, they’re just asleep. We use their particular pain to illuminate a path back home to their true nature.”

There is another group of individuals that Solomon especially enjoys working with, those through their unique physiology are what the field of psychology terms “Highly Sensitive People,” making up about 20 percent of the population.

She explained that these individuals are genetically “wired” to feel emotions much more deeply, especially when it comes to rejection.

“It’s a gift because they feel emotions very deeply and react to others. I love working with highly sensitive people because it’s such a life change thing for them when they can say, ‘I am normal. It’s normal for me and it’s a gift. How can I use this gift to my advantage?’”

Call Solomon at 681-4456 for an appointment or e-mail her at coachedbyanangel@earthlink.net. For more information, google “Barbara Solomon therapist.” Solomon doesn’t bill insurance but does provide a super-bill that clients can file with their insurance.