It’s exciting to hear your young child want to try new things or ask questions to help him learn new things. His own initiative is what causes him to stick with a task even when it is hard to do. Having initiative causes him to be excited by new things, to ask for help and be eager to share new ideas.

Initiative is what encourages him to try to do extra work or learn a new skill. It is a skill your child will use throughout his life (“Promoting Resilience for Now and Forever, Devereux Center for Resilient Children,” M. Mackrain and K. B. Cairone).

So what should you look for in your child that shows he is building initiative? Look for him to do something that was hard or try different ways to solve problems. See if he shows as interest in learning new things or if he keeps trying even when he has been unsuccessful.

Get involved

What can you do to support initiative? First, get involved in your child’s play. Let him be the leader but you can ask question to help express his ideas. Questions like “How does that work?” or “I wonder how you did that.”

Teach you how to do something. Young children love to be in charge. Let him tell you what to do. This lets him practice using initiative.

Encourage his interests. If he is into building towers, make one with him. If he likes to garden, plant seeds and watch them grow.

Involve him in doing simple daily tasks. He can help set the table, fold the laundry, or make a salad. Do not expect him to do everything by himself. Let him do the parts he can.

Do things as a family on a regular basis. This helps him be ready for these times. Children feel secure when life has some order and they know what is coming next. So you can read stories regularly at bedtime, go to a local parade each year, visit friends and relatives regularly and play games on the weekend.

Ask him to help throughout the day. Even if you can do the job faster and better, invite him to help. He will feel proud helping to do a real job.

Have fun together each day. Play games together. Take turns who goes first on games. Go to the playground. Be sure to play on the equipment as if you are his age again.

Discover what is special about him. Each child is special. Comment on your child’s special strengths. “Riley, you tell silly jokes that make me laugh.”

Help him if he needs to learn something new. Help just long enough that he can finish the task. When he completes the challenging task on his own, it makes him eager to try again next time.

Talk out loud as you help your child solve a problem. Ask questions to help him figure out a solution: “Jack, you want to go outside, but it is raining really hard. What could we do inside?” After he comes up with an idea, talk about the steps he took. Help him see how he did it. This way he can do it in the future on his own.

Take the time to help him develop the necessary skill that will encourage him to use his initiative. It is a key to his long term social and emotional development.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program.