Your child is feeling more complex emotions now than when he was younger. He needs extra help to understand and control his feelings before he begins school and even as he begins preschool.

Here are some steps you can take to help him deal with these new, stronger emotions:

• Stay close when you can tell he is very emotional. Comfort him in these times and tell him that it is okay to feel the way he is feeling. Help him learn to think about how he feels.

• Name his feelings for him. “You must be very sad about playtime ending,” or “You look frustrated with that puzzle,” are good things to say to him. Learning to identify emotions is his first step toward controlling himself.

• Set clear limits on his emotional behavior. Hurting other people or property are not appropriate ways of dealing with feelings. He needs to learn that there are consequences for damaging actions he takes.

• Help him learn to play with his friends. If your child is in a play group or in preschool, he is regularly told and reminded to share, to play nice, and to put away his toys. These same lessons are important at home as well as at school.

• Learning how to wait will help teach your child self-control. It also teaches him that others have needs and wants too. Start out making the wait short and give him a little distraction if you can. Learning to wait will help him learn to share and take turns as well, making him well equipped to work out conflicts later.

• When you discipline your child, your goal should be to teach rather than to punish. When he has done something wrong, try to explain why what he did was wrong. Talk about other ways he could handle difficult situations.

• Praise helps your child feel good about himself. When you notice how hard he is working to learn a new skill, be sure to let him know you have been paying attention. Tell him he should be proud of himself for working so hard. This helps him learn to build his confidence.

• Encourage yourself. Value yourself and the job you are doing raising your child and face the coming challenges with courage and knowledge.

You started with a dependent young infant and you have grown into a stage where you are trying to help him learn ways to live his life to the fullest. Your child is very dependent on you and on the examples you provide. He is watching and listening even while he continues to learn.

Hopefully, you are also learning. Keep learning about the many ways you can help him. Keep trying new ways and improving on the old ways. Keep patting yourself on the back as you make progress.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.