Children come in all sizes, shapes, attitudes, reaction to discipline, manners, eating, sleeping, mental health issues and even learning. Yet here I am writing about what kids are like.

I have an excuse. I am just writing to you things to think about, ideas to try, and different ways to do different things, based on your specific child. Some children will go through certain stages at an early age and others may be a little slower.

No matter whether he is behind or ahead, your child keeps moving forward, just at a unique pace.

If you are worried about the ways your child is unique, talk with your physician or even talk with her teacher to see if your worries are warranted. School districts have tests to give children to see when children need special help. Parents who express concerns about their children need to check with the school about having them tested.

It is even worthwhile to talk with the woman down the street who has had several children and who appears to be doing a really good job of raising the ones she has. In other words, find some helpful resources.

There are many kinds of problems young children can have. They include learning disabilities, visual problems, autism, behavioral problems, hearing problems and others. If a child has a serious problem, the child may need special help educationally.

If the problem is less severe, you may need some help on ways you can help your child. Even the home computer is has numerous supportive sites that can help parents be the most useful when your child is experiencing problems. Parents are frequently the biggest help a child would need.

At times, the problem your child might have is feeling different than the other kids. It is even worthwhile to teach your child that he or she is unique. In that way, your child will not feel pressure to be like everyone else. Let your child feel she is special just to you.

Though being a parent of children with special needs can be emotional and make you feel isolated at times, families in these situations are far from alone, especially with the potential help of an experienced treatment team. Special needs are more common than you might think. In one study (Special needs: Common Types, Challenges & resources,” themwellnesscenter.com), 7.1% of children live with anxiety, and 3.4% deal with depression. This same study found that most children with depression also experience anxiety (74%) or behavior issues (47%).

As children grow and enter puberty the rate of suicide attempts has risen significantly in recent years. More than 57% of teen girls reported feeling sad or hopeless in 2021 (Seattle Times, April 22, 2024). Unfortunately, depression and anxiety have experienced significant increases, with steady increases over the past two decades.

While you want to make sure you are helping your children in any way possible, there is always the possibility that your child doesn’t have a serious problem but one that just needs your attention. These problems should not be ignored. See how you can help.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which published newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents.