This is a time of giving. It is a time for everyone to give, including children. It is easy to have the emphasis for children to be on receiving and not on giving but that is a mistake. Children need to learn that they need to do the right thing to make it a giving time as well as a receiving time.

So how do you make it a giving time for a young child who is under 5? Actually, you have to work a bit to make giving a reality at this age. Help your child think of the people she should give something for the holiday. Then maybe she can think of a picture she could draw that she could send. If she is sending something to Grandma and Grandpa, you could even have her do a hand-print and that would be something special. Maybe she can help with the wrapping of the gifts that you are giving. If she can write her name on the package, that even shows that she was involved.

The older child who is in school can send a note to the special person she wants to send something special. If she is barely writing, something very simple will work. If she is in grade three or four, she should be able to elaborate on what she is sending because she now has the vocabulary. She still may be into making a picture or now she might be into a good photograph to send. By this age she may have some additional skills that might allow her to make a gift out of them.

All of these make-it-yourself ideas need time. Start in November to think about who she wants to give a gift to and what it could be.

Older children have the capabilities of sending something that may have an expense involved. Again, this is something that should be considered early. Trying to come up with funds at the last minute isn’t easy for anyone and especially tough for young people.

Talk with her about giving to others who might not even be in the family. If she is in school, she probably is hearing about giving to families who have limited income. If she doesn’t hear about this, talk about it with her. Take her with you when you go to deliver food to the food bank and make sure she gives something. If you make a contribution to a charity during this time of year, have her drop it in the mailbox or go in with you when you deliver it. This is teaching about giving.

All of this takes some good talks before it will happen. It is these good talks with your child that can build a special bond as well as get the job done. The talks need to have lots of time spent on what your child thinks about the subject. Ask question and wait for answers. Then add a bit but don’t take over and tell her what to do. You want as much as possible to come from her.

Make sure that she receives credit for what she does. Talk about it over dinner so that she can hear that you are proud of her for what she is doing or what she has done. Praise her or compliment her for the way she has prepared the gift. Let her know what a good job she has done wrapping the gift. Make certain that the person who receives the gift knows of her thinking and preparation for giving.

Actually, the lessons you teach her about giving to others can last a lifetime. Don’t miss this opportunity to teach her an important lesson.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.