Most parents are very much aware of the amount of teaching you do as you raise your children. You teach them to brush their teeth, pick up their toys, hang up their clothes and millions of other things your children learn in their growing years.

Parents really are their child’s first teacher.

Some of the lessons you teach are critical for your child to be ready to go out on his own when he is an adult. Lessons like how to get insurance, where to go for health care, how to pay bills, how to apply for a job and how to use the bank all help a young person make the big step into taking care of his own issues in life.

Other lessons are ones you just want your child to know. Maybe you want him to learn to play chess or some kind of card game. Perhaps there are some books or movies you really want him to read or see. You may want him to learn how to use some kind of equipment or how to make some special sauce he really loves.

You certainly want him to be polite to others and to do well in life. These are all lessons you talk about, work on and hopefully achieve.

But let’s talk about the lessons you are teaching him right now that you haven’t thought much about. Let me give you a few examples. When you drove him to school this morning and you were late, do you remember driving 10 miles over the speed limit to get there?

He may not realize this when he is very young but as he learns to drive and you talk with him about his speed, he is very aware of your speed, too. The ticket you received for speeding also teaches him that tickets are not a big deal. My parents get them regularly.

It is easy to feel you can say what you want in the confines of your home but is it? Your children are listening. When they hear you make racial slurs or put down other people who believe differently than you do, your child is learning a lesson. When you even just say mean things about other people you are sending your child a message.

Most parents have talked a great deal with their children about not using their cellphones in the wrong places. It is abundantly clear to a child when he sees or hears his parent on the phone doing the very thing he has told the child he should not do.

When your child hears you talking on the phone and telling Aunt Suzie things that aren’t true, the lesson he receives is clear. If you are using drugs or alcohol excessively and telling your child that is wrong, make sure the lesson you are giving him through your behavior is the one you want him to learn.

There are inadvertent lessons you want to send. Help your wife into the car; it is a nice thing to do. Call your neighbor who is sick; it is a nice thing to do. Offer to help someone who needs help, say nice things about others, be honest, try hard, do the very best you can and be a good person. These are the lessons you want your child to see and hear you teaching.

You don’t have to be perfect to be a good teacher to your child. Your child knows that you may expect that he not swear but you might use some questionable words from time to time. He may see you sneaking into the refrigerator to have a slice of the cheesecake when no one is looking but he understands this. While he understands he may also do the same thing the next time you aren’t looking.

You need to remember the many, many lessons you are inadvertently teaching him every day. These may be the most powerful lessons he remembers from his growing years.

We just all need to remember that we are a teacher to our children — not just when we want to be — but all of the time.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.