The holidays are a wonderful time of giving but they also are a time of receiving. This is the time of year you have been hearing all the things your child would like to receive.

Some of you probably have been shocked when your 10-year-old says he wants a $300 Play Station. Your preteen or teen may have asked for a $750 phone or a $500 tablet.

It isn’t unusual but certainly uncomfortable when your young child wants so much.

At the same time, how much do you hear about what your child wants to give to someone else? Generosity is not a strong point for most children.

Nevertheless, tomorrow or the next day your child will be excited to open any presents you have for him. Even if he doesn’t get the expensive present he had hoped for, he is pleased to get presents. That doesn’t mean he will be grateful.

Gratitude is a difficult concept for young children. Children under 7 usually don’t understand other’s feelings. But parents can do a great deal toward helping their child learn how to be grateful. According to researchers at UC Berkeley, people who practice gratitude feel considerably happier, more joyful, enthusiastic, interested and determined. With that result, it is well worthwhile to help our children learn to be grateful.

Here are a few ways to help your child learn about being grateful.

• Say, “Thank you” regularly. It needs to be part of your everyday vocabulary. It may not work at first but keep trying and using it.

• Show your appreciation by paying attention when your little one really makes an effort. “You did a great job of picking up your toys.” “That was so nice for you to offer a cookie to your friend.”

• Remember you’re the model for being grateful, like you are for most things.

• Ask him at night before he goes to sleep, “What are you most thankful for today?” This can serve as a routine each evening.

• When you shop, make sure your child knows when today is just a “Look Day.” Have more of those than “Buy Days.” You can begin this very early.

• Make giving a habit. Set aside old toys and clothing in good condition and take him with you to donate them.

• Give him some money that can only be given away. Let him choose what needy cause or person to give it to.

• Make giving part of the holidays. Let him see you buying for needy people or donating to Toys for Tots. Take him with you when you deliver your donation to United Way and let him give the check. Check about delivering a Meal on Wheels or volunteering somewhere.

• After the holidays, help your young child and expect your older child to write thank you notes for each present they received. These should be more than one line notes. Give your child some help doing this so they are worth sending.

• Skip the lectures about the value of giving or the unreasonableness of expecting the latest gadget that costs a lot of money.

• Be patient. You can’t force this. Just continue to be an example for him to follow. Entitlement is a normal stage of child development — it’s natural to want nice things! The most effective way to encourage your child to be more grateful is to role-model the behavior you want to see.

Have a wonderful holiday season and continue to be the best example you can be for your children.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation. Reach her at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.