Children need to hear lots of words. They need to hear them all day long.

Words build their language and thinking skills. We even know that the more words your child hears, the smarter he becomes.

But it is also important for him to use his words. Two-way conversations are the very best.

When you ask questions of your child, you encourage him to think. Answering your questions should help him use his imagination as he explains what or why things happened. This is why we say your child should be doing half the talking.

Give some thought to how much time you spend talking with your child and then think about where and when you can increase that. Do you talk at dinnertime? This means do you talk with your child or children at dinner?

It is easy to have a conversation with your partner and exclude the young ones at the table. Make sure you ask about your child’s day or what game he liked playing.

When you talk with your child, do you ever get down to his level by kneeling or squatting? Think about how you can make sure you have eye contact when you have a two-way conversation. But most importantly, have a conversation every day with your child.

Talk together about books you read together. Was this book tonight the same as last night’s book?

Ask questions to help him give some thinking to what is in each book.

Talk about tough subjects from time to time. Help him learn about bullying or not being mean to other children. Help him also learn how wonderful it is to be friendly with the new boy in class. You are setting the stage for some more complex but meaningful discussions to come.

If he uses a word incorrectly, use it correctly so he learns. Add more descriptive words to what he is talking about.

Bring in other new words to the conversation. Make sure he understands the words by asking questions or making comments.

Make sure the questions you ask your child don’t end up with a one-word answer. You can prevent that by asking specific questions. This lets your child know you are really listening.

If you ask, “How was school today” a likely answer is “fine.” You learn very little. If you ask, “What was the best thing that happened to you today at school?” you are more likely to learn something.

When your child is talking about something of interest to him, don’t give your opinion too quickly. Before you say what you think, ask him a question. If he says Sam wasn’t fair on the playground, don’t give your view on fairness. Ask him what do you think would be fair?” Then wait for his answer. You may really learn something about his view on fairness.

Take time to talk together. Do it when he is a toddler and do it when he is a teenager. It takes time and effort and is really worth the time. You will learn about him and he will learn about you.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.