Most of us become stressed from time to time. Some of us become stressed a great deal of the time. None of us like it. But stress is just a part of life.

The worrisome thing is that we aren’t the only ones who become stressed. Even babies experience stress and they don’t have the foggiest notion of how to calm themselves down.

For babies, stress is even harder because parts of the brain that react to stress and helps us calm down still is in the developing stage.

When your baby feels safe with you and her needs are being met, she learns how to handle the stress. Parents and those who care for babies can help babies feel safe by holding them, comforting them when they cry and just talking and playing with them. This helps your baby learn to handle the stress she is feeling.

Babies who get stressed over and over don’t learn the healthy ways they can handle the stress. This causes them to struggle with stress as they get older. Nobody wants a stressed-out baby. The stress is contagious and chronic stress has long-term health consequences. When babies are exposed to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, they are more likely to develop behavior problems and stress-related diseases later in life

So what stresses a baby? Getting hurt is one thing. Babies also can be stressed when they are uncomfortable and at times when they have had too much stimulation. Being left alone is another cause.

Another stress frequently overlooked is when your baby is around people who are stressed out or upset. This is especially important when the stressed person is Mom. A new study shows that when moms are stressed out, their babies sense their anxiety. They actually show physical signs of stress themselves when the moms are under stress.

Babies, just like the rest of us, can’t be protected from everything that might cause them stress. But there are ways to show her how to handle stress.

• Learn how your baby can be comforted. Some may like to be held and others might like to be rocked. Some even like to have you sing to them and others may enjoy a bath.

• Offer lots of physical affection … but pay attention to what your baby likes and dislikes.

• Don’t leave your baby to “cry it out” when she is upset. This doesn’t make her a stronger or tougher adult.

• Get help if you can’t handle the stress you feel when your baby is stressed and crying.

• Take care of her needs by being there when she needs you.

• Don’t worry about spoiling her with love and attention.

• When difficult things happen for your baby, help by being calm and caring for her after something stressful happens.

We can do a lot to protect babies from the effects of toxic stress. Research has shown how infants exposed to lots of nourishing touch are more likely to develop into stress-resilient adults even if they were born with a high risk for stress-related problems. Other research has found that babies exposed to stress will develop normally when they receive lots of cuddling and caressing during infancy.

The important ingredient is to learn how to read your baby. Some babies don’t handle touch as well as others do. So for them touching and stroking may cause additional stress and for others it may be soothing. You need to understand your baby.

Babies are amazing. One of the reasons babies don’t come with a manual is that each is different. You need to become an expert on your child.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation. Reach her at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.