If your child is just beginning school, the tone you set will be with him a long time. Let him know you care.

Listen to what he says happened at school today. Ask what he learned.

This is still a time to make sure that he is doing the normal activities that a child of 5 should be doing. Does your 5-year-old child …

• Jump, run, throw and climb using good balance?

• Draw circles, lines and crosses using a crayon?

• Use toys and other materials to pretend play?

• Enjoy picture books and being read to?

• Understand words that tell where things are (behind, under, in, on)?

• Use speech that is easily understood?

• Ask a lot of “why” and “what” questions?

• Enjoy playing with other children?

• Wait his turn some of the time?

• Answer simple “where” and “who” questions?

If these are not the way you would describe your kindergarten-age child, contact the school counselor and see about having him participate in a developmental screening.

If you see problems developing for him at any age, talk with others and seek out help for him. Many problems can be solved with just a little help.

No matter what age your child is or whether we are talking about a boy or a girl, your role remains important. Stay cool. Be a good role model for him. Offer support. Let him know you understand when things might be bothering him.

Make rules. Teach him that when he speaks nicely, you will listen.

Praise his good behavior. This encourages more of the same.

Be respectful. Don’t yell and scream and certainly don’t hit.

Be encouraging and loving. Hugs really do matter.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and director of Parenting Matters Foundation. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com or at 681-2250.